(For a friend.)

Stayed up all night to brave the day
Sleep to dance the night away.
For a smile you can buy her wine
For a little love you can stay the night.

Never used to be a flirt
Now all she wears is miniskirts.
Sparkly skin and blackened eyes
Who will take her from the floor tonight?

She needs someone
To give her hope
To change her now
Somehow

But somewhere inside there's a little girl
Just begging to be released.
Who wants to be a princess
And have her daddy set her free.
Rebel child, forlorn and defiant
So lost inside the world.
But somewhere deep inside
There's a lost little girl.

Weeping inside a bathroom stall
Begging upon a wishing star.
But her friends are beacons and they don't care
Let the grief deaden her soul.

Laughing manages to hide the tears
And his arms can temporarily lull her fears.
But the next morning the deadening balm dies
And you have to do it all over again tonight.

She needs someone
To give her hope
To change her now
Somehow

But somewhere there's a little girl
Just begging to be released.
Who wants to be a princess
And have her daddy set her free.
Rebel child, forlorn and defiant
So lost inside the world.
But somewhere deep inside
There's a lost little girl.

Get out of the pit
Extended desperate hand.
When wine and desire drains you dry
Seek what will make you new.
Reach down deep inside
And find that little girl.

Somewhere there's a little girl
Dying to be released.
Who wants to be a princess
And have her daddy set her free.
Rebel child, forlorn and defiant
Breaking against the shackles of this world
But somewhere dying deep inside
There's a lost little girl.

Reach down deep within you
And find that little girl.

(Radio, snowy roads, and a highly over-active muse = voila.)

Bubbly bright and effusive child
Life is simple, easy, smart.
No one knows from looking at you that your life drags you down
No one knows you have a broken heart.

I know what it takes to heal for years
I know what it takes to lie.
I know what it takes to pretend like you're not bleeding
To pretend that everything's fine.

I know what it takes to move on and move out.
I know how to face the night.
And I know how to get over you
I'm not listening when you say goodbye.

Smiles and laughter and kisses in the dark
All to blithely hide the open torment within.
Love gone deeper than fire following a burned root
Love spent and lost so fleetingly on him.

I know what it takes to heal for years
I know what it takes to lie.
I know what it takes to pretend you're not bleeding
To pretend everything's fine.

I know what it takes to move on and move out
I know how to face the night.
And I know how to get over you
I'm not listening when you say goodbye.

To live a lie is to live like you're happy
When you're torn to pieces inside.
To live a lie--like you believe in love
All belief broke when you fell through that sky.

To pretend that you are happy
To pretend like you like life.
Laughing and smiling against the hell in your heart
Yes. Even she can live a lie.

I can take anything you dish out
Alone, defiant, I will take on this night.
I will live.
I will love.
I will move on.

I'm not listening when you say goodbye.

I hate you and your toned beautiful muscular arms
I hate you and the way you'd make me feel like I was the only girl in the world.
Your charming sense of style
The way you'd always remember our anniversaries
I hate your tattered old sneaks.

I really hate you and your beautiful beautiful eyes
Deeper than the sea
I hate the way I'd fall, I'd drown, I'd lose myself in them.
Your stupid heart-throbbing geeky smile with the dimple in your cheek
I hate your guitar you wrote our songs on.

I hate you
I hate you
I hate you
I wish that you would hate me too.
At least then you'd still remember me
If you hated me
Like I hate you.

(Playing with a phrase that's been stuck in my head. Expect recurring aspects of this phrase in future scribblings till I get it right.)

So you think you can win my love?
So you think you can make me fall?
Honey, like heck that'll happen.
I'd sooner fall for a falling star.
Love is a surer way to die
Than to let yourself be impaled.
Losing reality for chemically-riddled daydreams
Beating futilely against the shoals.
So you think it'll be good for me, do you?
So you think I should trust to love?
Well go ahead.
Try it then.
And stake me through the heart.

I know your secrets like I know I was a fool
For ever believing I could trust you.
I knew you were trouble from the moment we met
But your oily charms smothered me and made me forget....

All it would take
Just a believable deny
I'll swallow a lot, baby
But I won't live a lie.
If you ever loved me
Don't fear to cut this burned tie
And tell me what's going down
If you have the guts to face my eyes.
I don't wanna hear your stupid lies
Just give it to me straight.
Tell me anything, but make it real
I'd rather trade your supposed love for honest hate.

All it would take
Is a believable deny.
I'll swallow a lot, baby
But I won't take a lie.
If you have the guts to face my eyes
I don't wanna hear your stupid lies
Just look me point-blank
And give it to me straight.

Your entire life down to this moment
Here you stand alone
The end of the tracks torn apart
Courage vanished like a hit and run.

And you don't wanna break, don't wanna die
But neither do we.
The injustice pries your soul apart
Beats you down brutally.

Stand up, stand out
Don't be afraid to speak.
Run fast, cry out
Don't be afraid to bleed.
Even heroes stand a chance
Of being struck down where they stand.
So throw your arms out wide
And face that train.

Waiting, hoping, crying, praying
All you wanted was a kiss in the rain.
For heroes must fight and excel and fly
For heroes must stop these trains.

Trying to say a word, to be strong
But sometimes speaking is not enough.
The fear taking you down inside
Till you cringe at the thought of that touch.

Stand up, stand out
Don't be afraid to speak.
Run fast, cry out
Don't be afraid to bleed.
Even heroes stand a chance
Of being struck down where they stand.
So throw your arms out wide
And face that train.

Even heroes break down and cry
And sometimes heroes die.
But there is no one else but you.
So stop that train.

(So for the record, I am not suicidal nor do I espouse people killing themselves. Just thought I'd get that out there. :p )

so i'm in my car
and i'm driving
and i'm crying
like a crucifixion pent up inside of me.
the river slips beneath these tires
so calming
so inviting
only a bridge separating from comfort cooling embrace.
the pain hurts less than this pain now endured
blood from the blade less than blood from the heart.
draw the knife across my skin
tear the curtain of flesh apart.
give me something else to distract me.
i can't take this anymore.
to sail over the railing
into the sky, across the seas--
god in heaven hear my prayer
no one else is listening.
tangled up in torment
when you don't know what to do.
what the heck do you expect of me?
to sleep, to sleep...is there pain in hell?
i don't know and i really don't care.
let's get this eternity thing over with.
my mind warns me but its words slip, gasp, fade.....
my brain slowly suddenly shuts down
slipping, sliding
ice frosting a wall in my soul
building against the road
bursting through the barrier

and for a brief moment of weightless freedom
I
Am
Free.

When the blood stained the crystal
And the palace chandeliers
Of jagged glass fragments stuck fragily together
Precarious ere the ghosts of light appear

Painted smiles on feigned display
Like a delightful grinning skull
Fearless in all the malice
There's nothing to fear when you're dead.

I told them that I loved you
They smiled and said the same.
But the next day I woke up next to
The girl without a name.

Crushed velvet and glittering diamonds
Left to drown in the blinding rain.
Escape the skeletons shackled too close
Any cursed way you can.

Her smile was realer, was warmer
Than all the fires in fortune's halls.
Her love was more angry, more effusive, more true
Than the cold affection of the shells of their love.

I told them that I loved you
Their smiles said the same
But the next day I woke up next to
The girl without a name.

Love and love sprung from a wedding of wealth
Wandering darkened streets to find what's lost.
Love found in an impoverished ramshackle room
Truer love bought with a smile without cost.

And she laughed when I offered her money
You said that was all that you'd take.
Tempted by nothing more than affection and grief
When morning came she still had stayed.

I told them that I'd marry you
They smiled, nodded, said I was wise.
For money and money brings happiness always
Without the complications of passion gone awry.

But the house of treasures was empty and hopeless
And I opened it all the same.

I've never been happier than this new hour
Beside the girl without a name.

(The rhyming scheme in this is REALLY weird, but it works with the tune in my head. So tap into that tune telepathically or just deal with it. :p )

Walk through the door and you're surrounded by faces
Just praying for the grace to somehow make it through.
Never expecting that you might meet someone
First day of school. Who can create something new....

Thought love was something that you lost
When you let him mess you up. Can't even feel a touch.
But you come over and sit by me
My heart races exponentially.
I like the way it feels.

And I can finally throw my arms out
And just fall into the sky
I feel like I might cry.
I can finally trust again
I feel that hope is coming near
I like the way that feels.

You charmed me with a gorgeous smile
And thoughful kind words that spoke to my soul.
The kindness of a stranger but rapidly I knew
That you'd be more than a stranger 'fore long.

You started coming to dances--walking me out after class to my car
As if this were a dream.
And I can barely believe a guy like you
Could even be real
But I like the way this feels.

I can finally throw my arms out
And just fall into the sky.
I feel like I might cry.
I can finally trust again
I feel that hope is growing near.
I like the way that feels.

I like the way that feels!