Too many masks to hide my scars.
If you act like a jerk, no one cares who you are.
Just laugh and laugh to hide the pain.
Everyone's the same.
No one knows
And no one cares.
No one loves enough to see who's really there.
Make myself blind to every hint of love.
So I never have to bare my heart.

Somehow you lit up my dark
Landed in my life
Like a falling star.
Somehow you tore me apart
Broke down my walls
And landed in my heart.

Never knew that I could love again.
I still don't believe
But you're wearing me down.
And despite my mind
I know I can trust.
There's just something about your touch.
Build up my walls
Like iron and stone.
I'm so vulnerable, bleeding...
I break. You don't.
But your heart was crushed once
And seemed to heal through.
I damned myself to self-destruct though.

Somehow you lit up my dark
Landed in my life
Like a falling star.
Somehow you tore me apart
Broke down my walls
And landed in my heart.

But you're afraid
If she sees your heart
She'll see too much.
She'll go too far.

You're more than the pain you're hiding tonight.
But the mask of defenses you say to yourself you build up inside.
And you're almost believing
Your self-created lies.

I keep trying to turn you away.
Like anything I do will change your mind.
So terrified
I don't want to get hurt again
But I know I'd be broken even more
If you left.

Somehow you lit up my dark
Landed in my life
Like a wishing star.
Somehow you tore me apart
Broke down my walls
And landed in my heart.

You, my darling, hold me close in the dark.
Gave meaning to my life
By clinging to my star.
You tore into my walls and tore me apart
Broke away my mask
And imprinted your life on my heart.

Like any other love song
You got into my heart.
Built me up
And tore me apart.

Like any other break-up song
You're the one to blame.
Though I couldn't sleep for weeks
With all your blame.

Now here I am to say
You can't come back today.

Coz I don't need you
Anymore.
I don't need you
Anymore.
Turn the pain into beauty.
Tears into living poetry
Coz I don't need you.

Like any other sad song
I cried myself to sleep.
It took me almost a year to heal.
It took you a matter of weeks.

And though the pain still infuses my being
It's opened up my eyes.
Befriending those whom I could never before see
Coz I know now what it's like to really cry.

Now here I am to say
You can't come back today.

Coz I don't need you
Anymore.
I don't need you
Anymore.
Turn the pain into beauty.
Tears into living poetry
Coz I don't need you.

You changed so much in my life
But I'm realizing it wasn't all bad

And I--I need you
To infuse my songs
With the depth that comes
Only from personal pain.
And I---I thank you
Without you breaking my heart
And breaking me
My songs and I would've stayed the same.

And now I can laugh and mean it and say
Thank you
And I'm moving on today.

Coz I don't need you
Anymore.
I don't need you
Anymore.
Turn this pain into beauty.
These tears into poetry
Coz I don't need you.

Lately I've been Resignation
Drifting along in sweet sensation
Coz heaven was hell without you near.
And now I can't escape
The irrationality that is my fate.
I'll stay on this train going at full speed.

It takes you far away
But that don't matter if you're the same.

And I keep waiting
For the breaking bough to ease me over to your side.
And I keep praying
That your weeping heart will trust I'll tell no more lies.

Lately I've been Hesitation
Frowning hard in concentration
Coz you aren't coming back to me.
Meditating on the day
That I let you slip away.
Love can't withstand the tongue and cheek.

And I keep waiting
For the breaking bough to ease me over to your side.
And I keep praying
For your weeping heart to tell you I'll tell no more lies.

This is a song about a girl
With one word she can shake up your world.
She is so beautiful and she don't know why.
The boys hang on her every word
But no one yet's pegged her heart down.
And no one is there for her in the night.

She always writes the wrong things
Sings of anarchy to kings
Tells the world off when it's wrong and she don't care who's listening.
Pulls her music from the airy sky
She never knows the reason why.
And she don't see I'd do anything if she'd be mine.

This is a song about a girl
With music on her lips to brighten your world.
Soul crafted of dripping blue and lilting song.
The clouds her crown, the world her domain
She cries with you and laughs at her pain.
When they're all shivering at midnight, she's the one painting the dawn.

She always writes the wrong things
Sings of anarchy to kings
Tells the world off when it's wrong and she don't care who's listening.
Pulls her music from the airy sky
She never knows the reason why.
And she don't see I'd do anything if she'd be mine.

She don't hear a thing I say
It don't matter anyway.
Flash that beautiful smile with her heart's life song.
Even if I can't have her as mine
Just knowing her brightens my life.
I wanna just jump in and sing along.

She always writes the wrong things
Sings of anarchy to kings
Tells the world off when it's wrong and she don't care who's listening.
Pulls her music from the airy sky
She never knows the reason why.
And she don't see how happy I am that she's in my life.

you used to lie with me like no else one existed but you, me, and the stars. we'd be out there counting the still clouds obscuring the moon pretending it didn't make a difference that our fingers were curled so tightly round the other's that it looked like we had been made that way.
now you lie to me and say you love me. but i see the haunted shadows at the brink of your eyes that used to be so clear and peaceful before.
used to kiss the hope brimming in your eyes. it isn't there anymore.
i wish i could say things i didn't mean. wish i didn't have to be always so truthful. wish i didn't have to lie.
wish you would just tell me what happened.
what i did wrong.
you lie and say you love me. then you say honestly you found a prettier girl, one who doesn't make you weep and tear you up inside.
does she fit in your arms like you were both carved out of the same block of cool marble? does she make you laugh so hard you cry? does she love playing tag just so you have to chase her and catch her and tickle her till she throws herself around your neck and kisses you for the sheer ecstasy of it?
do you love her enough to be broken when even the slightest thing goes wrong? do you love her enough to be hurt at the littlest things only coz you're so completely vulnerable and open to each other? do you love her enough to stand out barefoot in the bloody snow screaming because you know that this fight is your last?
i wish i could say things i didn't mean. wish i could tell you well fine, go on, be with her, see if i care.
i wish i didn't always have to be so truthful. wish i could tell you i never loved you anyways. that i don't love you now.
i wish i didn't have to lie. that my stupid heart would blacken and stop yearning for you so i didn't have to force myself to smile through the blood of my shattering love and tell you it'll be okay, don't cry, you need to do what's right for you.
you only cried when you saw how much this was breaking me down.
you only cried when you realized that all the times you said you truly loved me were a lie.
and that i meant it all along.

(Is it acceptable to plagiarize your own self? :p  So the chorus of this one just came to me when I was dabbling on the piano last week.....and then that was all that came. At first I was unhappy with my muse...then I realized that the chorus went perfectly with the theme of two poems I wrote last year. I took ideas from those poems, mashed them together, and voila. Enjoy.)

[1st vs] It's like a murky puddle
Or a watercolor sky.
And it feels like I'm falling
But I don't know why.

But it ain't called losing
My heart for nothing.

So maybe I'm clueless
Or just naive.
But love's not a feeling
It's a dream
Like a song in your head
You can't help but sing.
When you lose it
You can't stop a thing.

It ain't called losing
Your heart for nothing.

[chorus]  I may be losing my heart
I may be losing my life.
But I will make you mine tonight.
I may be out of control
I may be out of my mind.
But I won't say goodbye
This time.

[2nd vs] A jaded view ain't easy
When you ripped it away.
Used to be love's far too dangerous
To risk falling.
But you came along
And shook the crap out of me
And like what what you know you did
You still can't see.

It ain't called losing
Your heart for nothing.

[chorus] I may be losing my heart
I may be losing my life.
But I will make you mine tonight.
I may be out of control
I may be out of my mind.
But I won't say goodbye
This time.

[3rd vs] The truths of I Love You
Lovers' most beautiful lie.
You pushed me from behind
And now I'm falling through your sky.
You act all innocent when you ask me
What are you wanting?
Oh stop this pretending

It's called losing
Your heart for a reason.

[chorus] I may be losing my heart
I may be losing my life.
But I will make you mine tonight.
I may be out of control
I may be out of my mind.
But I won't say goodbye
This time.

(For a friend.)

Somewhere she's weeping.
And you're always seeing her
In the back of your mind.
And somehow it's breaking you
Though you thought you were over her.
Well. Not this time.

It's a beautiful day
But you can't see the forest for the trees.
Two pots stained black with mutual pain
She'll always be there. Haunting.

You thought you found someone
Who can heal you.
Someone who can tear you apart.
You thought, maybe, she--
But it's not true.
No one else has enough of you to break your heart.

It's a beautiful day
But you can't see around her face before your eyes.
You never used to hide behind your walls.
You never really used to cry.

The last night like a ghost
Underneath the untouched mistletoe.
And you once thought you'd just bleed out
But the wounds are closed now
Leaving faint silver scars
And you don't know how.

Still sore, still painful, still there
But not bleeding openly anymore.
And--as much as you will ever be able to--you can move on.
Her smile is brighter, is purer, is realer--
She doesn't begrudge you your wounds
And you find peace and healing in her arms.

It's a beautiful day
And for the first time you believe in the sunrise.
Taking you far away, but it doesn't matter.
As long as she's at your side.
I'll stay by your side.

It's a beautiful day.

               E                           B
A mother to her child soothing softly to sleep
               E                           B
A lover to his darling, telling her he'll never leave.
               E                           B4
Two sisters bound, stronger than blood.
     s/G#/C#   F#m
All things disappear
    E             B
When faced with love.
    E             B
When faced with love.

[1st vs] Each breaking heart beats so imperfectly.
Caught up in the anger and ache so blinding.
And we forget but we'll regret
Letting this slip away
Take hold of love.
Take hold of love.

                  E             F#m         E          F#m
[chorus] No matter the question, the answer is love.
    E          F#m           E            B
No matter your burden, love can ease it off.
    E                     B            E              F#m
So I sing of the thing that really matters to me
  E  B4  B  C#m
I sing of love.
E  C#m B4 E3(no5) F#m
I sing of love.

[2nd vs]  Nothing reaches the beauty or intimacy when the two become one.
And nothing reaches the pain when it's broken off.
When you care and he's not there
Life seems too hard to go on
Believe in love.
Believe in love.

Desperately selling anything for what can't satisfy
There must be a reason why we're trading love for lust in the night.
With a hole in our hearts as we're searching for love
We're looking in all the wrong places.
Don't lose sight of love.
Don't lose sight of love.

[chorus] No matter the question, the answer is love.
No matter your burden, love can ease it off.
So I sing of the thing that really matters to me.
I sing of love.
I sing of love.

[really long bridge] In the shadows of night
When you feel so alone
It's easier to withdraw
Into jaded cynicism.
But it's worth the pain
If you can just hang on.
Don't give up now.
The dawn will come.
It may come at too great a cost
But don't shy away.
The answer's love.

[end-chorus] In all the cries of this world
The only answer is love.
Though love has broken you down
Love can lift you back up.
Here's why I sing of this thing we call love
In the end it is all that remains.
Though we're broken we're still seeking the same.

I sing of love.
I sing of love.
I sing of love.     (Though we try to cease)
I sing of love.     (We can't stop looking)
I sing of love.     (And we hide in our sorrow and we hide in our scars)
I sing of love.     (But only the thing that broke us can show us who we really are)

           I sing of love.

     So I'm on YouTube now, thanks to the constant encouragement, persistence, and grit of my friend Ryan, who happens to be my music mentor of sorts and is extremely good at it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=

     Kind and constructive comments welcomed. ^_^  Hopefully in the future I'll be able to record some of my own original work and post it on YT.
     Enjoy!!

Only a month after my heart was shattered
He came into my life.
Like the angels sent me a charming prince 
Coz they failed so bitterly last time.

And he treated me like I had a soul and took things slow
Didn't judge me when I cried.
Yet I feel guilty each time he reaches for me
And I don't know why.

He's so gentle and so sweet
He always listens close to me.
Brilliant dancer, tender lover
He's everything I need.
His warmth fills my soul
His touch drives out the cold.
But only one thing's wrong...
He's not you.

He never abuses me defenselessly
With words like knives of hate.
He's not moody or emotional
He always stays the same.

I know just what to expect.
He won't tear me apart.
Mm, he don't have enough of me
To even break my heart.

He's so gentle and so sweet
He always listens close to me.
Brilliant dancer, tender lover
He's everything I need.
His warmth fills my soul
His touch keeps me from cold.
But only one thing's wrong...
He's not you.

He fulfills my every list.
He meets me every need.
He is everything I used to dream of
Everything a prince should be.
But he doesn't set off sparks.
Maybe that fire died with you.
And it's not his fault
But he's not you.

He's so gentle and so sweet
He always listens close to me.
Brilliant dancer, tender lover
He's everything I need.
His warmth fills my soul
His touch drives out the cold.
But only one thing's missing...
He's not you.