I'm going to start posting a monthly disclaimer on my blog.

Disclaimer: almost none of my poems are straight-up about my life; I rarely write holistically autobiographical poems. To write, I take an emotion or feeling that I’ve experienced (or that a friend has experienced), isolate it, exaggerate it to the nth degree, and then write a song about it. Tapping into an intense emotional experience and writing a song about that particular emotion is one of the ways my muse operates....my muse is very finicky about inspiration and I just go with what I’m given. I don't write songs about my life, I write songs about the emotions, which usually end up sounding similar to my life in some way because all emotions at the heart are the same. All love songs sound the same...all break up songs sound the same. (See end.)
     Details will sometimes be taken from my real life, but I will also change details without hesitation to go with the flow of the song. The feelings in my song are all emotionally true, and I only write about what I (or a friend) has experienced, but that definitely does not mean it is true in real life, i.e. that each poem happened that same way in my life. I cannot emphasize enough that I rarely write autobiographical poems. If you read my blog, you'll realize half of my songs or more deal with subjects like death, suicide, love affairs, being cheated on, etc---obviously not autobiographical! And ultimately—all love songs and all break-up songs all end up sounding similar, which is why every love song on the radio can seem to apply to your life even though you know Adele and Taylor Swift and Jason Derulo all have very different lives than you! So if you think this is about you…stop thinking so highly of yourself. It’s not.     And basically the only poems that I will write in a straight-up, completely uncensored, totally viscerally honest soul-tapping way are about people who are no longer in my life. If you're my friend and find something I've written offensive or seemingly pointed to you, it's not!  : )  I might write about the feelings, but I'm not going to post unedited uncensored blunt poetry about people I care about in my life. So no worries.  : p

I still love you......
and his words rippled out into the waves as crimson painted each edge.
I need you
and the water grappled and drowned it as it started to rise again.
I want you 
her hand was slowly slipping from his to eternal sleep.
But I need to go 
i need to be
alone
i need to dream.

I'd rather an honest enemy than a deceitful friend.
I'd rather you talk to me than play pretend.
At least an enemy and I would have an honest fight
Won't give me a smiling hug and leave a knife dripping in my back.

I still love you--
Oh like hell you do.
No stretch of that definition
Can cover what you've done.

The next time someone says
You know I care about you--
Well no, I don't anymore
Coz I once believed it of you.

But when I wake up
Will you stay up with me
And tell me these past few months
Have been just a bad dream.

That's all you are to me now
A nightmare or two
Or more like a nonstop rerun of them
I haven't stopped dreaming of you.

Can you let go that easy
Like a bipolar storm
That enjoys sunshine for a day
And then hails until there's none.

Can you walk out that easy
Like an amnesiac freak
Who suddenly can't remember
Your best friend for years was me.

Oh, who's gonna be at the altar with you now
Standing by your side as your groom comes down?

Who's gonna sit laughing on a summer day
Margaritas and Cosmo in hand
Watching our kids grow up together
Like the best friends we never had.

Who do you text now, every hour, every day?
With all the random things we used to say.
Who do you sit laughing with over the stupidest things
And five minutes later you're debating philosophy.....

And I hate you now even all the more
As I realize I'll never be able to hate you a day in my life.

And it hurts the more, that even through my loss
I've stood back up and grown the stronger, appreciate my true friends the more now;
But your soul that was the higher
The part that I (and what was mine) used to liven will die.

And I will regret that here forever, dear
To see that part of you withering and eternally die.

So now you're a different soul
Lately I was just friends for old times' sake.
But I still believed you could be again
Everything you once were meant to be.

Not this mediocrity
Not such complacency
Such normal sentimentality
Don't you ever dream of wanting to fly?

I'd rather an honest enemy than a deceitful friend
But a person playing games hurts her own self most in the end.

And the first cut--I saw none of it coming, nothing prepared to say--
And now all there is, is kiss my cheek again--et tu, Brute?

I'd rather an honest enemy
But here we are again.
Brute has made his choice.
Perhaps he never was Caesar's friend.

Come on in for a cup of afternoon tea
Come in in for some girly gossiping.
We'll snuggle real close and watch some scary TV
Everything's all right when you're next to me.

But the clouds rolled in and it began to rain
And almost imperceptibly, you changed.
You promised our sisterhood would always remain
But you never promised you would stay the same.

And as I see you
Can't help but miss you
But I can't avoid the truth
You're long gone.
As I was waiting
You were straying
You're a different person than the friend
Who used to be so strong.

You and I used to belong
But my life is emptier now.
You were long gone
Before you told me it was so.
How could I be so blind?
How could you be so sure?

A smiling painted face, so terrifying to me
Acting like an injured first-grader instead of a sister to me.
I'd rather you be honest and angry
Then put on a facade till the moment you took your leave.

Was it always rotten?
Was none of it true?
Are you merely incapable
Of what they're all telling me now?

And they say it was never healthy
You never had my back, despite what you said to me.
Our friendship was rotten long ago
Our friends are telling me now.

And I see what they're saying
But it can't be true.....
I meant every promise I ever made.
It can't mean nothing to you.

And as I see you
Can't help but miss you
But I can't avoid this reality
You long since choose to be gone.

And all the things you did
All the promises you broke
Become the harder when I realize I'd forget them in a heartbeat if you ever said I'm sorry--let's please try again.

You used to be so beautiful, so strong
Our best-friendsness, inside jokes, made us belong.
Now I understand the song I didn't before--
Now you're just somebody that I used to know.

You're long gone
It's time to move on
And not grieve for the death of a once-kindred soul
Who no more wants to belong.